Posted by: chroniclesofgrace | March 24, 2011

Think we’re ready for our own reality TV show…

When I was a pre-teen(long before reality shows and the ability to youtube your life were the norm), I remember pretending that my everyday life was a TV show and I was the star.  I would occasionally talk to the “camera”(my mirror) about the goings on of my life as if my life was so fascinating that it would make for good TV. 

Though I wouldn’t be thrilled with the idea of placing cameras around the house to watch our every move, there were several incidents this week that I think would have made for excellent laughs. 

Episode #1: BW is teaching the High School Bible Study at church.  I am working on cleaning up the kitchen before bedtime and had just sent off a couple kids to brush their teeth.  All of a sudden I hear “Get mom!” and “No, let me try!” and “Get mom!”  When I arrive I find that Boy10 had been trying to floss with one of these he’d recently received from the dentist after having a crown put in one of his molars:

But it was stuck in between his crown and his other tooth and he couldn’t get it out.  So he’s sitting there with this huge dinosar sticking  out of his mouth!  I tell him to let me pull it but he is just sure that if I do, it will put his crown and his molar out!  So I order his sister(who desperately had wanted to pull it and is watching the whole thing) to get some scissors.  She runs off for what seems like FOREVER unable to find some scissors.  She returns with the largest pair of scissors in the whole house.  While they are the largest, they are also the dullest.  They would not snip off the floss.  So I run to another room, grab some scissors(they were just where they were supposed to be, by the way) and snip the floss.  The floss thingy comes right out and my son breathes this sigh of relief – think he had already pictured walking around with a dinosaur hanging out of his mouth for the rest of his life!  Hoping I can convince him to continue flossing…

Episode 2: It had been snowing when I went to bed and I was anticipating being able to sleep in knowing that the powers that be in our small town often cancel or delay school for just about anything.  I vaguely hear others getting up and hear my oldest announce that there is indeed a 2 hour delay at her school so I put the covers back over my head determined to get a little more sleep.  I fall into a deep sleep and a slightly weird dream when Girl11 runs in and says “Mom, you’ve got to come see what Dad has!”  I tell her I’ll be there in a minute.  I stretch, trying to get the “sleepies” out and prepare my mind to start the day(can you tell that I am NOT a morning person)?  As I begin to sit up, I hear a bunch of commotion coming down the hall and the next thing I know something is FLYING RIGHT AT MY  HEAD! It looked something like this:

but was flying around my bedroom(crashing into mirrors and windows), causing me to duck back under the covers while my children screamed in delight and my husband ran around trying to catch it! (Later, one of my children laughed saying she had never heard me scream before!:)

Apparently, my hubby had been in the family room doing his devotion when a bird smacked into our sliding glass door and fell to the ground.  Not wanting the kids to wake up to a dead bird outside their breakfast table,  he went out to scoop it up and throw it away.  When he did, he realized that it was still breathing.  So, he put it in a box and brought it into the house!?!(just call him Dr. Doolittle).  The kids woke up, excited that Dad had found them a new pet when suddenly the bird determined it was no longer hurt and began flying around my house!

Eventually, he was able to catch it and place it outside where it flew away happily.  Though it wasn’t the most restful way to wake up, I’m certain it would have made for great tv had we had the cameras running.

Episode 3: This episode would include clips from several kitchen blunders this week including:

BW’s birthday was Tuesday.  On Monday night, for Bible study I made the most beautiful cake!  The kids insisted I make another one for his actual birthday the next night.  Though I can’t think of anything I did differently, the cake came apart in pieces when I took it out of the pan.  I tried to cover the error with frosting, but it just kind of spread around in a mess of frosting and cake crumbs(Maybe I could say that one of the kids had made it?).  Well, I thought, it’s ok because I’m making a  yummy, warm dinner that he will enjoy when he gets home from being in the cold weather of Boy10’s baseball practice.  I had timed everything perfectly to come out of the oven right when he got home.  He got home and everyone sat down to dinner.  I proudly put salmon, potatoes and green beans on the table.  He began serving and realized that the salmon wasn’t cooked all the way through, the potatoes weren’t done either.  Re-collecting all the food from everyone’s plates we proceeded to microwave everything(the microwave was right next to the freaky looking cake I had made).  I could feel the tears stinging behind my eyes and pictured myself whining, “But, I just wanted to make you a special birthday dinner! and I really do know how to cook! and I wasn’t trying to poison you on your birthday!”  But I didn’t and I was reminded that I have a very gracious husband. 

(mine was pretty close to this; had trouble downloading the pics of mine)

Boy5 helping make cookies, cracks and egg and somehow the shell is completely in the bowl and the yolk is on the counter.

 

A child (we will keep the identity secret) who wanted to pop popcorn in the air popper “all by themselves”, assuring me they knew just what to do.  The child did everything right…except pay attention to the direction in which the popcorn popper was pointing and not realizing that it was nowhere near the bowl and getting distracted so that popcorn was EVERYWHERE!

Episode 4: Would include clips of funny things said during homeschooling including

I am teaching a lesson on compare/contrast.  I ask them to compare & contrast me and a particular child(looking for height, eye color, gender, etc).  Child says “Mom, a contrast between you and me is that you have a pimple on your face and I don’t.” Ahh, the humbling I receive from my children.  You can’t write any better comedy than that!

And this was all just within a week’s time!  Though I know some network producers would probably be chomping at the bit to give us some great reality TV contract, I think maybe our lives are most likely really only funny and entertaining to us.  And that’s ok too!

Blessings!

-J

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Responses

  1. I am in stitches! Thanks so much for sharing.

  2. Okay, I was the exact same way as a kid, except our “cameras” were hidden! 🙂 Oh, that makes me a little nervous about the floss. My kids use those kind of flossers. I’ve been a little overly vigilant with their teeth lately because we’ve recently dealt with my 3 year old having an injured tooth extracted. I’ve found this Mom’s Guide to have good info & creative tips if you want to check it out.

    So nice to find humor in nights like the one you’ve recently had. The cake is wonderfully, lopsidedly, cute! I would have given it a fun Dr. Seuss-ish name and called it a birthday! 🙂


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