After just 6 weeks of having TV, my kids have officially been indoctrinated as Dodgers fans. My two oldest are watching game one of the playoffs with the Phillies and know all the players names, are shouting about the umpire’s strike zone, and calling the Phillies “those bad Phillistines!” They are definitely their father’s children!
In college, I took a class on Children’s Literature(thinking it would be an easy A for an English class). Until that time, I never really thought about how children’s literature is a snapshot into the culture at large. As I read books with my kids or we try to choose books in the library, I often ask myself “what is the author trying to convey?” As we read, I also try to ask my kids questions so that they will hopefuly learn to be discerning as well. Letting my 4 kids loose in the library definitely isn’t as simple as it may have once been.
These days, we’ve seen that even children’s board books can include kids whose parents are never mentioned, or if they do, have parents who don’t understand them or don’t punish them when they do something wrong. Even when parents are mentioned, it seems that the real adventures are done without the parents knowledge or when parents are not around. I have increasingly found that if I want books consistent with our worldview in our home, I really need to request books from interlibrary loan that were written in the 50’s or earlier. Books like Honey for a Child’s Heart and books from Christian curriculum catalogs help me to gauge what would be good, better and best books for my kids to be reading.
Al Mohler has recently written a blog about this trend that I find fascinating. Here’s an excerpt:
In “The Defiant Ones,” a recent essay published in the New Yorker, Daniel Zalewski argues that picture books for children now reflect a world turned upside down in terms of the relationship between parent and child. As he explains, in the newest picture books for children, the kids are solidly in charge.
In this sense, the books we read to our children reflect the cultural values of our age. Inescapably, these narratives for children reveal far more than a storyline. Indeed, the books tell us more than we may want to know about the tenor of our times.
And Zalewski explains:
Like the novel or the sitcom, the picture book records shifts in domestic life: newspaper-burrowing fathers have been replaced by eager, if bumbling, diaper-changers. Similarly, the stern disciplinarians of the past—in Robert McCloskey books, parents instruct children not to cry—have largely vanished. The parents in today’s stories suffer the same diminution in authority felt by the parents reading them aloud (an hour past bedtime). The typical adult in a contemporary picture book is harried and befuddled, scurrying to fulfill a child’s wishes and then hesitantly drawing the line.
Once again, we are reminded that books matter. In this case, Daniel Zalewski’s essay reminds us that books intended for the very youngest matter very much. The picture books we put in front of our children help frame their expectation and understanding of their place in life and in the family. Today’s parents must look carefully at the books they put before the eyes of their children. Some of the most subversive literature in the land is designed to put children — and not parents — firmly in charge.
This summer, we began hosting a weekly Bible Study for “18-20 somethings” in our home. I have enjoyed coming up with a different dessert each week, but I don’t generally have a lot of time to spend prepping and have to keep our budget in mind. With the cooler temperatures, here are a couple of easy and inexpensive recipes I’ve made that have received some good reviews.
Apple Bars: This recipe on Allrecipes.com has been a big hit and is a great way to use those apples from apple picking(or the slightly bruised ones that get left in the bottom of the fridge drawers). I substitute oatmeal for the walnuts. Yummy warm with a little whipped cream on top.
Fluffy Pumpkin Cheesecake Pie: Over the summer, I learned how wonderful ready made pie crusts worked for summer desserts. For a while there was a slightly different pudding pie each week of our Bible Study! This Pumpkin Cheesecake Pie is a great one when you don’t have time to dirty all those baking pans. It can be prepped in the morning and is ready to be topped with Cool Whip for the evening. You can also buy the individual ready made graham cracker crusts and everyone can have their own.
Ooey gooey brownies: Well, that’s what my kids call them anyway. Simply make your regular brownie mix like usual. With two minutes to go, add 1 cup of chocolate chips and 2 cups of marshmellows to the top. Bake for two more minutes. Graham crackers can be added to make them taste more like s’mores.
Pumpkin fluff dip: This is delicious served with graham crackers or ginger snaps.
More to come…but I have to try them out on some “guinea pigs” before I post them.
Enjoy!
After almost 5 years without TV, the cable box was turned on in our home a couple weeks ago. In an attempt to give us a desire for something we didn’t order, the cable company has given us a plethora of channels beyond the baic that we had ordered. Here’s my conclusion: There’s really not a lot on TV!
Don’t get me wrong. Our family has had a blast watching postseason baseball together – Go Dodgers! There’s nothing like the build up to a come from behind win in the 9th inning with two outs! Adam has a renewed interest in playing catch with his dad and hitting the whiffle ball in the backyard. I can’t wait to be able to watch Olympic figure skating again and Brent hopes Tiger Woods still has some amazing shots left in him for us to see. I am sure that we will enjoy finding things to watch on those snow days when Dad is home from work.
Maybe I’ve just been away from it too long, but as I flip through the channels, I’m finding there really just isn’t much to watch. And as much as I love watching the Dodgers with the family we are guarding ourselves from replacing our evening time of family board games or reading of chapter books with all of just staring at a screen together. So feel free to enlighten me with your favorite shows as we try to figure out the new role of TV in our lives.
On the other hand, we have new cell phones with free texting to one another and I am quickly becoming a huge fan of texting!
While shopping at Costco, I noticed a mom with 2 toddlers in the shopping cart(love how Costco has room for 2 to be bucked in) and a little baby in a carrier in front. I smiled, remembering those days. Except I also had one in the back of the cart too:) I realized that a milestone had passed without much fanfare – I no longer have anyone INSIDE the shopping cart! My big boy Aaron who turns 4 today has been holding on to the side of the shopping cart for several months now. This is the first time in almost 10 years that no one has been strapped into a cart!
Another new milestone – Aaron has learned to write his name(though he has an interesting way of making his R’s) and received the right of passage of a library card. This now means that our family could technically check out 150 books at one time! Wow! Not sure if our small local library could handle us checking out that many:)
Aaron’s birthday will always serve as a time of reflection for me. He was born in the year that our lives were forever changed – Brent left teaching, we moved 350 miles away from the home, family, town and church that we truly thought we would grow old in and we started the seminary journey. I had found out I was pregnant with him a few days after Brent had made the decision to go to seminary. That followed a very trying 6 months as we decided what to do, sold our house, getting ready to move. I really expected him to come out with some kind of twitch with all the stress and decision makings of that pregnancy. I still remember that summer – hugely pregnant in a 2 bedroom house with horrible air conditioning(that the landlords eventually had mercy on me and replaced), going to a church with 6000 other people and wondering constantly “what have we done?” I remember the first seminary family picnic where I was at the beach, not really feeling social but meeting some of the people who would become some of our dearest friends. And I remember my first night of sem wives where I introduced myself and announced I was going to have a baby tomorrow.
The morning Aaron was born, Brent went to his seminary class and came home to a house full of people(Brent’s parents had come down to watch the kids and my parents were planning to meet us at the hospital). We arrived to find that our scheduled c-section would not be on schedule because every woman in the San Fernando valley was going into labor and rooms were full. As I sat waiting for my “turn”(at least I had a room, others were in labor in the hallway), Brent & I were discussing names as we had found out the night before that the name we had picked had been “taken” by a cousin the day before. I also began to go to labor – must have been something in the air – which was God’s confirmation to me that this baby was ready to come out despite the arbitrary choice of date.
Eventually the familiar procedures began – though in a different hospital and with a different doctor than my other 3 children had been born. Husband by my side, baby was born, and unlike at the other hospital, I was not allowed to see him or nurse him until after I was out of recovery. Brent went with him and when they eventually wheeled me out of a very long “stitching up time” and recovery, my mom met me in the hallway to announce that Brent said his name was either Aaron or David.
Eventually I made it to my room and a steady stream of visitors with both sets of grandparents and Aunt Kelly came through during the evening. He was so perfect and beautiful! We settled on Aaron Frederick. Frederick was an attempt at a combination of both of our grandfathers – Alfred & Richard. That week, in addition to support from family, meals were delivered and gifts were given from total strangers at the seminary and I was so amazed at the love these people had for us and how well they were taking care of us even though they didn’t know us.
For a while, we thought Aaron’s birthday would serve as a reminder of how long we were in seminary as funds began to run out and we thought that Brent was going to have to go back to work full time, meaning we would be in seminary for decades. But God was so faithful to help us finish what had been started, even though it wasn’t on our timetable. So now, Aaron represents God’s faithfulness to us and brings us so much joy. We pray that he will continue to grow to become a great man of God who loves God with all his heart, mind, soul and strenght and delights in God’s Word.
Blessings!
-J
Last night, I was putting our youngest(almost 4) to bed. He has become quite attached to his Webkins bear(though he has never been on the website and has no idea that he could:) who he’s named Honey and it goes with him to bed each night. This is quite a change from the plastic Rocket(Little Einsteins) that he used to sleep with! and much softer on my head when he sneaks into my bed in the middle of the night. So here’s the conversation:
Me: Well, good night. See you in the morning. I love you.
A: Mom, there’s a little problem.
Me: What kind of problem.
A: It’s a problem with Honey.
Me: What’s going on?
A: Honey is very sad because the other bears won’t let play what he wants to play. They only want to play what they want to play.
Me: Well, he should be reminded that the Bible says we should consider others as more important than ourselves and prefer others.
A: Ok. I’ll have Honey tell the other bears that.
Me: Well, you could tell Honey that too. If everyone else but him wants to play the other game than he doesn’t need to have his way.
A: I don’t have to tell Honey. He’s right here and he heard you.
Me: So is the problem solved? Can you go to sleep now?
A: I think so. Ummm, Mom? I think there’s another problem, but I can’t….really….remember it ….right now…. So can you stay in here with me until I remember?
My kids have provided me with numerous examples lately, that it’s not enough for them to “know” or have memorized God’s Word. They really do need to understand what it means. And that takes a LOT more time, even more time than helping a child to memorize who isn’t good at memorizing:)
In our Bible Study Guide for All Ages, we are going through a unit on David. It has been really fun because we’ve gotten past the “Bible Story” part of David with Goliath and his harp, and are making our way through 2 Samuel when he is king. One of the lessons was on Psalm 23, which 3 of my children have memorized. As we were discussing Psalm 23 and the role of the shepherd, I found that they had ALL been confused by this passage(but had never mentioned it before:).
“Mom, I don’t get why if the Lord is David’s shepherd, why he wouldn’t want God.” They thought that the passage was about someone who “shall not want” God!!!! That’s kind of a big difference from what the passage is actually about. So we went back and I explained to them that sheep are not very smart, and they rely on a shepherd to show them where food and water are, when to lie down, when to move on, etc. When David says he shall not want, it’s because he trusts God for everything that he needs and is not in need of anything! This was complete news to my children who had recited this psalm dozens of times.
Then, last week, we were discussing what different faiths believe about how one gets to heaven. Adam out of the blue said “I don’t know if I’m going to heaven.” I asked him why, and he responded “I don’t think I’m good enough. I do so much bad stuff.” This is as pastor’s kid who has been taught the gospel at least once a week for the past 5 years! Brent & I looked each other, composed ourselves, and shared with him (again) that no one is good enough to go to heaven. The Bible tells us there is none who are good, no not one! It is by GRACE that we are saved, through faith in Jesus, when we acknowledge how sinful we are, repent of our sin and place our faith in Jesus’ death on the cross. He said, “Oh, that’s right!” and looked very relieved.
Parenting is such a process! God is really showing me that it’s not enough just to pump their heads full of Bible facts and verses. It’s not enough to tell them what pleases God. We must always be checking their hearts to see what is going on in there, which takes time and sometimes energy that I don’t think I have! We must also be walking a Christian walk that models the hope we have in Christ and the love we have for our Savior. As my husband said in a recent sermon – if we can model for them a love for our favorite sports team, we can surely teach them a love for our Savior. But we need to be modeling that love in our own lives consistently and living a life worthy of our calling as Christians and as parents.
Blessings!
-J
I had the best of intentions when starting a new blog, but life keeps getting in the way of me actually writing here. Amazingly, summer is already over and we are going into our 3rd week of school! Additionally, I’m getting increasingly frustrated that my picture software isn’t working properly. But since our computer is well over 6 years old and still runs well most of the time, I’m going to choose not to complain about it. So that’s the explanation for the lack of pictures and entries as of late.
But we are getting back in to the routine of the school year. I like to ease back into school so we started almost 2 weeks ago with just new chores, Bible & Language, added in Math in the 2nd week, and this week added our Konos Unit Study which covers everything else. This is our second day with all subjects, and while I am tired, it does feel good to get back into the groove. I don’t think I do as well with lots of time of unplanned activity:)
What’s new and different this year? Here are a few things:
1) We joined our local charter school. Usually, I’m not a big proponent of charter schools for homeschoolers as most that I have looked into in the various places that we have lived make you use the state’s curriculum, have very annoying reporting requirements, etc. But this one actually allows faith based curriculum and is fairly relaxed so that I was able to join without really changing how I do anything. Additionally, we have access to lots of resources, will be able to join in on some cool field trips, girls will take gymnastics in November, and enjoy some fun social events. We’ll see how it goes. It was a bit of a leap of faith for me and something I prayed for most of the summer.
2) Character incentives – At one point last year, I was having a very difficult time with one of my children in particular with poor attitudes, lack of trying, etc. I created a character goal incentive where the kids would receive a numerical score of how they did in different areas throughout the day. Each child’s chart was slightly different depending on what they personally needed to work on. If they didn’t get a certain number of points, there was a consequence t of no TV in the afternoon. Once they achieved a certain number of cumulative points, they were allowed to pick a toy. Well, I wasn’t planning to do it this year, though it had been successful, because I couldn’t afford a toy every month or so for 4 children. I mentioned this to my oldest and she said, ”What if we had prizes that didn’t cost anything?” So the kids got together and came up with prizes that don’t cost anything and by the time they were done, there was 50 coupons! Rewards included things I never thought would be rewards including choosing their own vitamin color(orange – bleck!), taking a walk with Dad, choosing a board game, choosing the next Netflix movie, not having to do a particular chore for the day, not having to do one school assignment for the day, etc. So we made coupons and once they achieve a certain number of points they pick a coupon out of a nicely decorated box that Christa made. I think I should ask for their advice more often! So far, the incentive has worked. We’ll see if I can keep the motivation going.
3) ChorePacks – I re-did the kids chorepacks with new chore assignments before school started. I generally used the ideas from the book Managers of their Chores, but I had one variation this year. I put one chore(with a picture for the non-readers) on a large index card and then attached the cards together using a binder ring. This way, the kids can easily flip through them, each person’s chores are all together and they hang well on the bulletin board using a tack. When they have completed all their chores, they hand it to me and I do a quick run through to make sure they are done to my satisfaction.
4) Independent school time – Occasionally, over the years, there have been certain days that I give the kids work they can do completely independently, but it has not been on a daily basis. Now that the older 3 can read at some level:) I have been able to have a time designated in the morning as “independent work” time. This is freeing me up to do some preschool work with Aaron.
5) Adam & Ella’s Language Arts is being taught together. I struggled with this decision most of the summer, but in the interest of my time, I finally came to the conclusion that this is best for this year at least. They are at the same level in many ways. I still do one on one reading time with each, but we are going through Learning Language Arts thru Literature as a “class”.
6) Soccer! With our move into town, we were close enough to the soccer fields to sign up 3 children for soccer! So our weekends are pretty booked until November. Hoping that it gives us a chance to all make some new friends and get some exercise.
Praying that our school year would be one where we each grow closer to our Savior and to one another.
This week our church has had Vacation Bible School. We are using Operation Space by Answers in Genesis.
I had planned a week of vacation for myself, more or less. I was going to drop off my 4 children at VBS, return home for some much needed quiet, time to organize my home and plan for the coming homeschool year.
“Many are the plans of a man’s heart, but the LORD directs his steps” is an ongoing theme of my life. This week, the Lord re-directed my steps and made it clear that the path this week was to help lead the 23 4 year olds who God had ordained at our VBS this year. Before you crown me for sainthood, I will admit that this wasn’t a task I chose willingly. I had an afternoon to pout about how my plans had been ruined and threw myself quite the pity party. But as the week progressed, I actually found myself enjoying myself! and what was a huge burden the beginning of the week, has become great joy by the end of the week. I will actually be sad to say goodbye to my little group of “Stars” tomorrow – might even tear up as I am just writing about it.
So here is my list of things I have learned from my 4 year old “Stars” this week:
- Sometimes God doesn’t grant you gifting in an area until you step out in faith and just do it. Anyone who knows me well can tell you that transitioning into full time motherhood and then homeschooling has been a challenge for me. Playing and being silly really doesn’t come naturally to me. Encouraging and praising is a discipline I must continually practice with my own kids. Give me a form to create, a process to plan or files to organize an I’m your gal. Interaction with children – not my thing, not my “gifting”. Or is it? I can honestly say that at the beginning of the week, I came home completely exhausted and frustrated. Today I came home excited, rejuvenated. What was the difference? As I stepped out in obedience to what God had called me to do, He through His power, gave me what I needed to be successful. He gave me ideas that I never would have thought of on my own. He gave me a gifting that was needed and reminded me of things I have learned through motherhood to help me. This new insight is a little scary to me – what might God call me to do next that I don’t really want to do or feel gifted to do? But in short, I have found once again that the Bible is true! “Whoever serves is to do so as one who is serving by the strength God supplies; so that in all things God may be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom belongs the glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen.” God helped me to serve by the strenght that He supplied; strength that my flesh would never have on its own.
- The gospel is more complex than I had ever really thought about(that was from the Women Discipling Women conference I went to last weekend), but so simple that a 4year old can understand. These kids could grasp that they were sinners – many of them even gave me illustrations to point out to them:) – and they deserved punishment for it, but that God took their punishment through Jesus on the cross. Having childlike faith(not a stretch for them!) could help them to know that they if they accepted this free gift Jesus had given them they could be assured of their salvation with Him in heaven forever. Wow! My prayer is that I would remember this awesome truth throughout my day and rejoice in it no matter my circumstances.
- We all need a routine and need to know what to expect. Major difference between Monday and Thursday? They finally knew what the plan was for the day and looked forward to each milestone throughout the day. They also got so much accomplished when there was a plan. Wonder how much I would get done if I routinely stuck to my plan for the day:), especially if I planned time to “play” so that I could focus better when I need to be still.
- If you want to remember an important truth, set it to music. It helps if it’s a tune that will get stuck in your head:)
- There’s a time to tell everyone what you think but there is also a time to be still and listen to others.
- Singing and popscicles make everything better. So do hugs!
- Even if these kids do not accept Christ at VBS, I can cover them with prayer throughout the week and know that seeds have been planted in their hearts.
Praying for each of these precious children – that they “will prove to be blameless and innocent, children of God above reproach in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom they will shine as stars in the world, holding fast the word of life.”(Phil 2:15-16). Also praying that more people would step out and serve in this important ministry so they too would discover the joy of receiving the strength and power to serve that only comes from God. May He be glorified!
Blessings!
-J
T
Brent & I have been reading the book Future Men by Douglas Wilson. What a powerful book about our responsibility of raising the next generation of men! It also talks about how boys really need and even crave additional responsibility. I was given a firsthand example of this in the past week.
This week Brent went with a group of kids from our church to Hume Lake as a camp counselor. If I’m honest, I’ll admit that I wasn’t really looking forward to 6 days without Dad in the house and being home with 4 kids. God’s grace has been sufficient, though, and we’ve been blessed with lots of playdates to keep us busy and make the time go faster.
What I wasn’t expecting was the effect being “Man of the House” would have on 8yo Adam. The first night Brent was gone, both boys snuck into bed with me. They said they were helping to make sure I wouldn’t be lonely without Daddy. The next morning I woke up to find that Adam had got himself up, got dressed, made his own breakfast!, made his bed, picked up his room and fed the animals. He also told me he had exercised and read his Bible – “since I’m like the Daddy of the House this week.” He told me he did everything Daddy does except drink coffee! He’s offered to lead us in prayer even though in the past he’s had trouble praying outloud!
Brent had written each one of us a letter. To help them last throughout the week, each day one person was chosen to open their letter from Daddy. Because of his initiative, Adam was chosen to go first. In his letter, he read how he is becoming more and more like a man and to make sure to take care of things including making sure the doors were locked at night. Not only did he continue to take this seriously, but I went to tuck him in one night and found him laying on his belly re-reading Daddy’s letter and then putting it under his pillow!
So my little guy is trying so hard to become a man. So much he needs to be taught in the coming years! But I love times like this, when I get a glimpse into where his heart is right now. What a priviledge parenting is! If only I could remember that more often:)
Blessings!
-J
